Let me out of the woods, pleeeeeease!

Just when I was accepting that I could put it all behind me it kicks off again.
I could keep this quiet until I know more but as this blog has always been
the “action as it happens” and to show others that we all go through this, I shall post this now.

Remember how last October I had a bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy. It sounds very fancy but is simply the removal of both ovaries and fallopian tubes. I had this because my breast cancer was fed by estrogen so no ovaries means less estrogen and that which the adrenal gland produces (in a roundabout sort of way) is dealt with by taking letrozole.

Still with me? I know it’s dull!

So, the menopause was surgically induced. Having been plagued with debilitating and health damaging periods for many years and I truly believe the attempted treatments to solve this caused my breast cancer (but no blame is appropriate; being as low risk as was possible who wouldn’t prescribe such treatments?) this seemed an all round winning situation.

This week I began bleeding.
I am seeing a doctor next week and have also arranged a referral to my gynaecologist.

In the meantime I am not sleeping, not concentrating, not working, not really functioning at all.
The fear of having cancer again never leaves me but is generally pushed aside.

Today I’ve been mentally checking my wigs (will have to have them cut short now to match my new hair), wishing I hadn’t just disposed of the left over medication I had been given to help me through chemo (I did this last week), wishing I hadn’t unpacked my “emergency overnight kit” (I did this last month) and wishing I didn’t already know what it’s like to have  chemotherapy.

I may be jumping the gun big time. It may be an inexplicable bleed (I do still have my uterus)
but I am well aware of what else it may be.

And I have a dental appointment next week and that really freakin’ scares me!

TB suggested I write this post as he thought it would help.
That man is always right…

As ever, thank you for listening
xx

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3 Comments to “Let me out of the woods, pleeeeeease!”

  1. Oh, babe. I am so sorry this is happening. Sometimes it seems too much to bear. You will pull that spirit up from deep inside and march straight ahead. You are the most amazing person! That said, I don’t want this to be cancer. I want it to be some silly anomaly that will turn out to be just minor and fixable. I am praying for you and will keep on. Post again and let us know the results. God keep you.

  2. There can be all sorts of reasons for this latest set back and I pray that it is something that can be put right quickly. You don’t need this and I am sure everyone who reads your blog will be rooting for you. I most certainly will be.

  3. Am also hoping that this is a pure one-off, unrelated to the cancer, and easily rectified. You’re bound to be feeling nervous and undermined by it, but am keeping everything possible crossed for your GP visit – and the dental visit too. Personally, I’d start with getting the dental visit under control – one thing, one step, one day at a time. ((hug))

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